Part Thirteen: Here Today, Gone Tomorrow

Dueller walked over to Stephanie who looked terrible tired and as if a troll did her hair. But Dueller didn't recognized that at all, he only saw this damsel in distress, and he went to her rescue. Stephanie stand there, watching the bristle faced boy walking towards her, she twitch her head a few times. But she still stand there, in completely in a dream day mode. "Hi,I'm Dueller". She couldn't breathe, she felt as if that heavy English accent was gas that she accidentally breathe in. Any minute now she will topple over the banister and rolled down the staircase, making a complete fool of herself. Instead she looked like a blown up frog, her cheeks were puffed out and her large grown eyes seemed to completely swallow Dueller. He stared at her in amazement, was it that possible that a girl could her breath for at least 5 seconds now. Dueller, took his hands and pressed her cheeks, releasing all the gas. Stephanie smiled and looked down over the banister, "I'm Stephanie" She said, twisting her dark curls.

He smiled back at her, and placed one hand in his back pocket, he felt the cigarette packet but quickly took out his hand. He looked over the banister too, but somehow his eyes fell into Stephanie's sparkling round green eyes, she look back at his. He slowly reached for her hand, he held for a long time rubbing her knuckles. Stephanie felt herself turning red, and she felt the need to give a leak. But she couldn't, her foot felt as if someone bolted them into the ground.

Then she remembered everything, the kiss with Kathleen, her drunken mother falling flat onto her face, being in the same bed in the nude with her best guy friend, her drinking bottles of liquor and being in rehab. Everything seem to hit her in every direction whether she turned right or left. She pulled her hand and began walking backwards slowly, Stephanie wasn't sure where she was, why wasn't she out shopping? Why does she smell like fatty yogurt? Why didn't she had nay make-up on? Why is she acting like a coward? Why was she becoming the superficial Stephanie Cornell? She felt as if the world was spinning uncontrollably, she felt warm and she began sweating, she felt weak, powerless. Stephanie took her last blink of an eye and then she hit the floor.

The thump was hard against the floor, Dueller swore her head cracked against the floor. Jacob and Dueller tried to see if she'll wake up, but she didn't move. They rushed her to the hospital, no one went home that night. Dueller hung his down, he was sitting on the gray chair staring at the crumpled piece of paper. He took out his guitar and laid the crumpled paper on the other chair, he strummed a few chords and soft melody came out his curved cherry red mouth:


Trying to breathe, but you can't.
Trying to open your eyes, but everything seem to be
Not alright. Wishing you can fly away, away from the world.
The worlds are spinning now, there's nothing left around you.
Feeling like your laying on the ground, desperate to hear a sound.
Only there is nothing left around you.
Seeping into the water, only trying to breathe,
but then you go into a dark sleep.



Everything is still, everything seems to be blocked out of your mind.
Everything seems to be not alright. So what are you going to do,
so what are you going to do. . . .when here today, when gone tomorrow,
I hope I'll see you soon darling.


So what are you going to do. . . . . when you weeping on the floor, when not there
anymore. You'll still remain in my heart forever, you'll hold your peace.
Screaming Infidelities, wrung your insides, but don't worry, if there's a
hole in your heart, but am I mistaken--


"I want to see my child, I want to see my child" A lady came rushing down the hallway. The doctor made her stop right in front of Dueller. She had the same slim curved figure as Stephanie, her big green eyes deepened in her eye sockets, her pointy nose was red from the brim. Her arms hanged loosely at her sides and her fingers looked like she didn't have a single flesh on her bones. Dueller continued to strum his guitar, while taking a few glances at the woman with her arms crossed against her chest. The lady sharply turned her head at Dueller and stared him down, the looked back the exit which was glowing red even though the lights were bright. He began whispering the soft melodies, and looking up through his eyebrows slowly furrowing to anger. He knew who mother was that as soon as he heard the doctor speaking quietly to the receptionist, "But Mrs. Cornell wants to see her child, you can't ban a mother from seeing her damn child, Maureen. The child is in there, the best thing we can do is let her see her child before it's too late" the doctor looked as if he wanted to fling his notepad at the receptionist, but she seemed like the stubborn type, who is only there for the drama then go and gossip with her friends about what happen in the hospital, every single detail.



Both Dueller and Mrs. Cornell watched the doctor and receptionist bickering back and forth. "Shut up the god damn guitar, boy. This ain't no god damn club, this here is a public hospital. They ain't paying you" Mrs.Cornell said. She had a heavy southern accent but some how a New Yorker accent lay solemnly beneath it, like milk in a cow. Dueller stilled continued, "I'm not doing it for the money". Mrs.Cornell green eyes darken, and it seemed like her dark pink tank top turned red. "Oh, so your one of those rich little English boys, right? Am I right? I know I am, look at you sitting there strumming your guitar away like nothing in the world just happen, like someone ain't dead, like global warming never happen. Well, you know what, you don't belong here,you shouldn't be sitting in that seat. Look at my daughter, she ain't rich, but you know what she doesn't mind, she lives with the clothes I give, she eat the food I give her but if her father hadn't left on business trip, maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't be living in that dump. So why you don't you just leave boy, take your ass back to England and drink all the god damn tea you want" Mrs. Cornell said, she was walking up to him, shaking her head. Ellie and Jacob arrived running down the hallway, Kathleen trailing behind them. They were already out of breath, Ellie and Jacob clutching each other hands looking as if any one of their hands will burst open. Kathleen looked as white as a sheet, sitting next to Dueller, waiting for the news.


Stephanie's door opened and one foot came out, then the other. But it stopped, not moving anymore, there was a few whispers and Mrs.Cornell waiting intensely, her jaw line was bleeding through her tight skin. Stephanie's dark wispy curls came bouncing down the hallway, her face was brighten and she was walking towards them, smiling. She bit her lips, with her hands in her back pockets. But her smile disappeared when she saw her mother's stricken face. Duller suddenly stood up and took Stephanie by her hand and looked at with his eyes, almost saying, "Are you sure you want do this?" . Stephanie nodded her head, and let go of his hand, "She won't hurt me. Not this time". Her mother stared at her, with her eyes full to the brim with tears. She looked the other direction and saw the police officers coming down the hallway. "I'm sorry" Mrs. Cornell said, while they put on the handcuff. When Stephanie and the rest of them got home, she lead Dueller into a room. She closed the door behind her and they were in the dark facing each other. She hesitated even though all things she had done was coming back to clearly, but she looked up into his eyes, "I need it".